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Stress in Children:Tips for Parents

What is Stress?

Everyone is affected by stress and reacts to it in different ways. Stress can become distress when we are unable to cope or when we believe that we do not have the ability to meet the challenge. The solution is to adapt, change, and find methods to turn that bad stress into good stress.

Symptoms of Stress in Children

• • Irritability or unusual emotionality or volatility.
• • Sleep difficulty or nightmares.
• • Inability to concentrate.
• • Drop in grades or other functioning.
• • Toileting or eating concerns.
• • Headaches or stomachaches.
• • Unexplained fears or increased anxiety.
• • Regression to earlier developmental levels.
• • Isolation from family activities or peer relationships.

Factors That Help Prevent Stress

• • Positive problem solving and coping skills.
• • Close, supportive relationships at home and school, with peers and adults.
• • Clear expectations.
• • Permission and ability to learn from mistakes.
• • Developing competencies (academic, social, extracurricular, and life skills).
• • Consistent, positive discipline.
• • Ability to express feelings appropriately.
• • Feeling physically and emotionally safe.
• • Good nutrition and exercise.
• • Time to relax or do recreational activities.

How Parents Can Help

• • Be available and open to talk when your child is ready.
• • Encourage the expression of feelings.
• • Teach and model good emotional responses.
• • Encourage your child to tell you if he or she feels overwhelmed.
• • Encourage healthy and diverse friendships.
• • Encourage physical activity, good nutrition, and rest.
• • Teach your child to problem solve.
• • Keep your child aware of anticipated family changes, in an age-appropriate way. Acknowledge that change can feel uncomfortable but reassure him or her that the family will be okay.
• • Avoid unnecessary discussions in front of your child of events or circumstances that might increase his or her stress.
• • Help your child have a part in decision-making when appropriate.
• • Remind your child of his or her ability to get through tough times, particularly with the love and

support of family and friends.

• • Monitor television programs that could worry your child and pay attention to the use of computer

games, movies, and the Internet.

• • Use encouragement and natural consequences when poor decisions are made.
• • Help your child select appropriate extracurricular activities and limit overscheduling.
• • Monitor your own stress level. Take care of yourself.
• • Contact your child’s teacher with any concerns and make them part of the team available to

assist your child.

• • Seek the assistance of school counselor if stress continues to be a concern.

Adapted from: "Stress in Children: Strategies for Parents and Educators," by Ellis P. Copeland, in Helping

Children at Home and School II: Handouts for Families and Educators, NASP, 2004. The full handout is available online at http://www.nasponline.org/families.

If you have any concerns regarding stress and your child, feel free to contact the school counselor, Dr. Kelly Stankiewicz, (908) 753-5300 ext 5405